The Hogans of Glenart

Mammy and Daddy’s first children were three lovely little girls, Una, Eitne and Nuala.¹ One of Daddy’s theories was that if you started the day with a bowl of porridge, no harm would come to you. In an effort to get his daughters to eat their porridge he devised a bribe – if they promised to eat their porridge, he would write their name in golden syrup on it. Well, who could reject such a sweet bribe? All went well and porridge was consumed every day and presumably Daddy was delighted with his brilliant idea.

Then unto Mary and John Hogan a son was born and they called his name Diarmuid -- the birth of their first son was a cause of great joy and jubilation.

The time came when Diarmuid was old enough to become a porridge eater and Daddy explained that if his sonny boy promised to eat his porridge, his name would be written on it in golden syrup. This bribe appealed to Diarmuid just as it had appealed to his sisters. Suddenly there was an outcry from his big sister Una.

"It isn't fair", she said, "Just because he is a boy, he got a long name and so much golden syrup. I am the eldest and only have a very short name."

Her two sisters joined in the protest. Now what was Daddy to do? Una had a valid cause to protest because she did, indeed, have a short name and despite the efforts of her father to explain that it had nothing to do with being a girl, she wasn't moved. Alas, it resulted somewhat in cutting off one's nose to spite one's face because the only solution Daddy could come up with was to stop the golden syrup bribe.

I have often thought about this and wondered if that little episode was what made Una a lifelong campaigner for fair play and equality!!!

P.S. No 2 son got a very short name -- Eoin -- and by the time I came along and would have done well under the scheme, the system no longer existed, primarily because my older brothers and sisters were too grown up to fall for any such nefarious scheme and anyway, it was wartime and there was no golden syrup!!!!.